Almost Gave Up

Posted on October 5, 2011

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Kanika Starr Reynolds' Third Grade Teacher, Mrs. Mildred Johnson

There has been many times in my life that I almost gave up. On my dreams, hopes, and my desires.

The pain for me to change old habits, the reality of my faults, and the quilt of chasing my dream while I had a family was weighing me down. There was countless nights of crying, frustration, and just plain anger because the more I wanted my dreams to come true, the further they seemed away from me.

Finally after all was said and done, I went to the Creator. “God, why would you give me these dreams if I can’t fulfill them? (I didn’t stop to let Him answer) How can I, a wife that married young, the mother of small children and two teenage step-children make it to where I want to be, when I’m struggling where I’m at?

The Bible Kanika received in third grade by Mrs. Mildred Johnson

Then I went to the small pink bible that my third grade teacher Mrs. Johnson gave me the day I got baptized. December 3, 1995 was the date, the first page she wrote “I love you. Always put God first.”

There was a sticker that reminded me that God also loves me, she continued, “read and follow Matthew 6:33.” I immediately went to the scripture and there I found the solution to my problem. It read, “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” That was the confirmation I needed.

From then on it was a routine of early mornings consisting of prayer and meditation. While the family slept, I prayed to a God that understood me, even when I didn’t understand myself.

I went above and beyond to show God that I wanted all that He had for me, and through trials He reminded me ‘how bad do you want it?’

I won’t tell you that at times I still didn’t cry out of frustration, but I will tell you that when I cried out, God gave me reminders of His promise through the mundane of things. One in particular was when family life and business seemed overwhelming.

I went to the bathroom and broke down. Right at that moment while I was on the ground I heard the Tiana song in the movie The Princess and the Frog. “I know exactly where I’m going and I’m getting closer and closer everyday. Almost there, I’m almost there, people are going to come here from everywhere I’m almost there. “Don’t give up, give into God and seek what’s good and honorable to Him, and all the things that you seek, will find you.”

Thanks, Mrs. Johnson! Matthew 6:33 was your greatest lesson that was given after the third grade!

Posted in: Inspirational